The Healing House You Live In: A Guide to Migraine Relief

What I’ve come to understand about healing from neuroplastic (mindbody / TMS) symptoms is that healing isn’t about what you do to the body.  We can medicate it, treat it, buy more and more gadgets and devices to help soothe it, restrict diets, avoid triggers - but none of that helps us get to the root cause of the pain (and therefore the ability to heal). 

Healing is about uncovering the state your brain, heart, and nervous system are living in, and course-correcting to ensure it's in alignment with your needs and feeling safe and authentic within the body.

Let me share a metaphor that may just decrease the confusion and overwhelm along the healing journey. I call it The Healing House. 

The Courtyard

Back in my 20s, I spent several months in southern Spain in the Andalucía region. I fell in love with the traditional homes there — each one built around a lush, private courtyard. Picture this: prefect weather, soft breezes, flowering plants, ornate Spanish tilework, a fountain, maybe a hammock hanging from two large trees just waiting for you to climb in, just enough shade. A calm, nourishing space that all the rooms of the house open into.

In my story, this courtyard is the heart of Healing House. It represents a state of ease and safety — a place where your nervous system is regulated, your heart is open, and your mind is clear. Here, your symptoms soften. You feel empowered, whole, and compassionate for what you’ve been through and the journey you’ve been on.

In this place, emotions are felt, not feared. Pain and symptoms aren’t met with panic, but with curiosity. You understand that symptoms may arise and are not a threat, but a nudge to attend to something within that needs care, alignment, or truth.

Many people with chronic pain or symptoms don’t even know this place exists. Others hear about it and think, “Not for me. That sounds odd. That’s too far away or too good to be true.”

But as we now know, healing of neuroplastic symptoms is possible. The path to this place isn’t a straight line, and it looks different for everyone —but the courtyard exists and each room in the house offers something essential.

This courtyard lives within you. It’s where your authentic self (core self, higher self, the divine within – however you want to refer to it) lives. And all doors within your house lead to it.

The Rooms of the House

Let’s explore the rooms that surround this courtyard:

1. Education Room

This is where we learn how pain actually works and becomes chronic. We study the neuroscience of pain, neural pathways, epigenetics, and the power of the brain. Sometimes, understanding alone can unlock healing (what some call a “book cure”) and access to the courtyard happens quickly. For others, it’s the foundation that brings them through other doors.

2. Brain Perceived Danger Room

Here we uncover the unconscious fears, doubts, overwhelm, and stressors fuelling our symptom. Doubt about the diagnosis. Doubt about our ability to heal. Perfectionism, people-pleasing, unhealthy boundaries  — all the added pressure which keep the brain on high alert and perceiving threat. We come here and work on mostly “Top Down” cognitive approaches to shift things into more of a felt sense of safety.

3. Brain Perceived Safety Room

This room is connected to the “Brain Perceived Danger” Room, as they work hand in hand.  As we reduce perceived danger, we automatically begin cultivating safety and vice versa, as we increase safety we automatically reduce perceived danger. The Safety Room tends to focus on “Bottom Up” body-based approaches to dial down the danger signals. The tasks are different, and both lead to the Courtyard.

There are three adjoining rooms attached to the Safety Room:

• Nervous System Room
  Here we learn and address stress states like Fight, Flight, Freeze. The tools are varied to shift our state — from movement to breath to rest to incorporating joy back into life— and they all lead us back to regulation, safety, and harmony.
• The Room of Emotions
  In this room, we gently process the emotions we’ve long buried — grief, anger, fear, shame, etc. We learn that emotions aren’t dangerous but are signals. And when we feel them, we free up energy and space within.
• The Power Room
  Inspired by Dr. Dan Ratner’s work, this is where we step into alignment with our true selves. We meet the inner critic with compassion, understand what it’s protecting us from, and begin to prioritize what we truly need. In this room we step back into power with ourselves, others, and our symptoms.

All the Doors are Wide Open

Although it sometimes feels like there are too many rooms, too many doors, and some have special locks or combinations we simply can’t figure out, it’s just an illusion.  All of the doors are open to us.  Picture large French doors in each of these rooms, all wide open, and leading out into this courtyard.  From any of these rooms you can sense - and access - the healing in the courtyard. 

Getting Stuck in a Room

Some people get stuck in just one room, thinking it holds all the answers.

They stay in the Emotions Room, convinced that if they can just release every old emotion, their pain will vanish. The intention is good, yet often a pressure to “get it right” is counterproductive and can fuel more danger than safety. Emotions are only a piece of why the brain could be perceiving danger.  If we only address emotions, we may miss the areas of doubt that are keeping us stuck in symptom, or the areas that need to shift power back into alignment with ourselves, others or the symptoms.  Journaling alone may miss those aspects.

Some stay in the Education Room, collecting facts and stay up in their head trying hard to reframe thoughts or think their way out of it, avoiding the emotional or body-based work.  But we can’t think our way out of neuroplastic pain. The amygdala, the brain’s threat detection center, doesn’t respond to logic— it only understands felt safety.

Some people gravitate toward nervous system regulation, hoping it will be the answer to relief — and it often is. It’s important to understand first how the nervous system works and how your body feels in the various states.  Regulation isn’t about staying calm; it’s about helping your body move through stress states without getting stuck. The key is knowing what your body truly needs in the moment. Early in my journey, I was deep in a Freeze state of burnout. I didn’t need soothing; I was numb and detached. I needed grounding and coming back into my body, and movement of energy. Without understanding my state, I assumed something was wrong with me when certain tools didn’t work. In reality, I just needed something different.

This is why curiosity matters. If a tool isn’t landing, if a room feels like it’s getting too heavy or all consuming, it’s time to explore the house. It doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. It may simply be time to explore another room. The beauty of the healing journey is that there are many doors and all help you reach the courtyard.

The key is movement —Healing often happens as we gently weave through exploring them with curiosity.  As moment to moment beings, our needs are in constant flux. Honouring what we need in each season of life is key.

There’s No Perfect Map

There’s no one-size-fits-all route through this house. You don’t need to visit every room in a specific order. Some people enter the courtyard quickly; for others, it’s a longer journey.

What matters is that you stay curious. If something’s not shifting, ask:

• Am I stuck in one room?  Is it time to explore?
• Am I focused on a topic or tool that feels right for what I need in this moment?
• Have I been consistent in my approach and given the tool a chance?
• What door might I try next?
• What do I need right now?

This is a moment-to-moment path. You don’t need to kick down doors or race to the courtyard. Gently explore. Trust that your pace is exactly what you need.

Parts of You are Already Healed

It’s not as if one day you will arrive in this courtyard, fully healed, symptoms gone and you dwell in this blissful oasis from here on out.  That’s not the reality of life, nor the goal in my opinion.  Life presents challenges and we rise up to meet them. We ride the waves of the highs and we have tools to help us out of lows when emotion and overwhelm sometimes overtake us.  The goal is to no longer get stuck there. 

The truth of the matter is, if you are on this journey you are more healed than you were yesterday, than you were a week or month ago.  Bit by bit the information and tools used are transforming not only your path but you and your inner world.  The journey is part of the healing process. 

Don’t let this courtyard feel elusive or far away. It’s within you, and always available.  In fact, you’re already visiting multiple times a day. You’ve healed a part of you each time you choose you, each action you take to support your journey. Each time you journal, or meditate or breathe deeply.  You’ve stepped into this space each time you set a boundary, speak up for your needs, or say no to something you don’t want to do. You dip in and out of this place more often than you realize.  Learning to recognize it as such can only assist the process and can feel empowering.

All Doors Lead to the Courtyard

Use this Healing House concept to take the pressure off of finding this elusive “right” path. You’re on it, and if you’re already doing the work, you’ve already arrived to the healing house. As I mentioned before, healing has already begun.

And if and when things feel overwhelming or heavy– take a wander into the courtyard and lay on that hammock and take a siesta.  Feel the breeze, enjoy some rest from it all.  When ready, just think about what you need in the moment and go explore with curiosity. It doesn’t particularly matter which door – remember, they all lead back to the courtyard, and to healing.

If you’re new to the journey and don’t know much about the Rooms I’m speaking of above, Welcome!  I’d recommend starting in the Education Room and go from there.  The home page of my website www.migraineoasis.com has a couple ways to educate yourself to see if your symptoms might be neuroplastic. A consultation with a mindbody informed physician is also recommended to rule out any structural or disease causation. Then, the next logical step in my offerings is to schedule a Free 25-minute consultation call or sign up for the "Intro to Mindbody Healing" course which will explain the pain neuroscience education needed to understand this approach.